Classic example..

Breaking the silence June 6, 2009

The breeze at east coast never felt more refreshing, like a cool shower of rain in the morning, i miss it.

Luckily, there was my class barbecue. Thank god for that. The fire was great, the walks were great, especially the part where there was just us on the ridge near the beach. I would like to thank my classmates of W64A for a very wonderful evening, not to forget my lovely database faci JAMIE, Thanks for coming!

Well i haven’t been blogging for a long time because i feel that blogging is no different from doing RJ. And i’m really sick of the feeling, I’ve been staring at my laptop screen for the past few weeks, looking at this page, Thinking of what to write. and honestly speaking, up till now? I still have no direction. Or perhaps not a lack of direction, more like a lack of determination, coupled with streaks of emotion which, definitely and horribly, spoils the opportunity or the willingness to carry on.

Every single action has its own effect, Cause and effect. Ever thought of how something you did or something you said whether you knew it or not or finally realized now, triggered a chain reaction of thoughts that were underlying subconciously in your mind? Thoughts that were just waiting to explode into reality, and thoughts which bring about radical and huge changes to your life? I know i have, Such, is a mistake that i so often encounter. It is a mistake, a tragic occourrence that i never wanted to exist. Maybe someone else wants it to exist but that, is another blog entry for another blog.

I have been thinking, i might sound really foolish, but what if one day, we had the power to return to a time where we wanted to? I know for me when that would be, cos apparently, that short or maybe not so short time of travelling was so important to me, etched in my memory, every thing that we did or said still vaguely lies in this troubled mind of mine. Of course, every time i would try to shake it off, but not always to the fortune of me succeeding in doing so.

A lot of things have happened, since the pass 3 weeks. No matter how small, or how bad it was, i still remember it. It almost feels like it is haunting me. Listening to music would just bring back the feeling again. I might have stopped thinking, but its the things which are happening around me that bring back, not the thought, but the feeling. I doubt anyone can ever understand why?

Why the heck do i think like this? Why do i even bother? Why do you ask me those questions? Why did we have to run and hide? Why did the same DAMN THING happen again? Why do things have to turn out this way? Why do i feel this way, logically? Why do i need to know? Why WHy WHY?

There is little that we know about ourselves, until, by the good graces, or sometimes the bad, another points it out. Your inability to see your own flaws sometimes is something that most people have with themselves as well. But when you cross the point of correction, that’s when you are purposefully, with an intent for disaster, not planning to change, despite knowing your shortcomings.

But i guess right now, I still feel a little lost, despite being status quo. No wonder i’m getting sick.

Tell me, tell me, do you see 3 “L”s or do you see a face?     l–l-l

I particularly like this extract, it just relates perfectly to my situation now.

“Soon the why and the reason are gone and all that matters is the feeling. This is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it; but it is of course a lie. Beneath our poised appearance we are completely out of control.” -Merovingian – The matrix

Give me a piano, and I’ll show you what it means

cos no one else can, This is me….

-Wish me luck-

Dom.

Next post? Anyone?